Well, for me, labor is amazingly intense. Contractions start out quite bearable but after a while they are not so easy but I think “pain” is the wrong word to describe them. Pain is your body telling you that something is wrong and should be stopped. Birth, in and of itself, isn't something gone wrong, and you should not make it stop. Did you know that in the Garden of Eden when God told Adam his punishment would be “toil” to bring forth fruit from the ground God used the same word for Eve's punishment? She would “toil” to bring forth fruit from the womb. Even God said birth is supposed to be hard work, not torture! While it is the hardest work I've ever done, it is work I am can do. In fact, I've done it thrice! Would you believe me if I told you that I'm looking forward to possibly doing it again someday? (Not preggers now, but we'd like a fourth someday.) =) Think of it like a runner's high. It's though at the end, but once you get through that supper hard part, it feels pretty cool.
Anyway, when my labor starts it is indistinguishable from Braxton Hicks (practice contractions). As the concentrations progressed I go deeper and deeper into concentration. For me it helped to visualize my uterus tight on top to press my baby's head against my cervix and relaxed at the base to allow my cervix to open. Birth requires an amazing amount of focus and concentration. Each concentration pulled me deeper into focus. It's interesting to know that your baby is not a passive participant in their birth either. Babies work; moving, wiggling, and turning into specific positions in order to make their way through the birth canal, it is a pretty tight fit after all! Thinking of my baby working with me also helped me focus.
One measure of how far Baby and I were progressing was how well I am able to carry on a conversation. I'd pause for contractions, but between I'd chat and laugh. I was able to do that while my body slowly progressed. Eventually I wouldn't be able to talk at all, labor took all my attention. Once it got to the point where I wasn't sure I could do it anymore, I wasn't enjoying it and I wanted it over with, usually meant that I had less than 10 minutes left. (My labors were 14 hours, 2 hours, and 6 hours.) As long as you are allowed to labor naturally at your own pace that “I give up!” feeling usually means you're basically done, as in transition is over, you are fully dilated, your baby has descended, and you're ready for birth.
It is common for the urge to push to feel like you need to poop. With Ian I rented a huge birthing tub and when I felt I had to go to the bathroom I'd hop out and run to the toilet. (Almost all births involve at least a little poop being squeezed out along with the baby and I wanted that tub kept clean!) However, once Ian was in position I mistook the urge and he was born in our tiny little half bathroom! (Turns out we can fit me, my husband, and 2 midwives in that little room!)
Crowning, when the baby's head begins to come out, is very different than labor. Instead of a deep intense pulling sort of pain, it is a sharp surface burning. If you want to avoid an episiotomy or tearing, make sure you take your time at this point. It turns out that just as the skin on male genitalia is able to stretch, so is a woman's genital skin! (Who's a thunk, right?) It's ok if the baby's head moves in and out slightly at this point. It's just stretching things gently so they won't tear and will be able to heal faster. Many people talk about “breathing” the head out since pushing the head out would be way too fast. I pushed with my first and needed a couple stitches, nothing bad though. With the next two I massaged my skin myself to help it stretch and then kind of rubbed it around the head. (Man, I hope this isn't TMI!) You can ask your midwife if she does perineal massage (it's medical name). :)
Once the head is out they tend to check to see if the cord is around the baby's neck. Bree's was around her neck and didn't have enough slack to pull it over the top of her head so the midwife held the cord in place and had me give one more push to get her shoulders out (her body just slipped out after that) and Bree slipped out through the cord.
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